Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Hunker Down

I have been viewing some lovely scenes of city life in the last couple days. I love looking over a city and focusing on every little light in every building on every street. It is often too much for my mind to contain all at once and I find myself drifting into other random thoughts but the contrast between the peace that I feel from having this higher physical vantage point in comparison to the bustling business of city life brings me an ease. One of the random thoughts I was having was about the scene in Amelie when she's looking over her city.
 "Time hasn't changed anything. Amélie still shelters in solitude and asks herself silly questions about the
 world or about this town.  For example, how many couples are having an orgasm right now?
-Fifteen ." 
We have as many choices as we can fathom. We are capable of anything. Which leads me to ask:

What is commitment?


[kuh-mit] Show IPA verb, -mit·ted, -mit·ting.
verb (used with object)
1. to give in trust or charge; consign.
2. to consign for preservation: to commit ideas to writing; to commit a poem to memory.
3. to pledge (oneself) to a position on an issue or question; express (one's intention, feeling, etc.): Asked if he was a candidate, he refused to commit himself.
4. to bind or obligate, as by pledge or assurance; pledge: to commit oneself to a promise; to be committed to a course of action.
5. to entrust, especially for safekeeping

Some words that pop out to me are: trust, pledge, and bind.

Are we as humans capable of doing such things? I choose to believe that everything should be considered an option. Nothing is impossible. Our minds give us limits due to the inability to understand or comprehend. We know very little. So how are we able to have such a confidence in something to the point of being able to trust or commit? It's almost as if we're saying, "I will control my future to the smallest degree" which I see as being impossible. Chance happens. Time happens. Who's to say something won't rewire the mind and change the perspective? If all we are is circuits firing off electrons to receptors, how can we say that nothing will change our opinions?

Is there such a thing as real commitment? Real trust? Can we actually bind ourselves to one thing? One mind frame, one way of life, one ideal?

Maybe that is why marraige is such a sacred thing. It's romantic, foolish, hopeful, created by faith and ignorance. It is thrusting yourself into a singular path and assuming that it will last. Working for a common goal, sure. But no two minds are exactly the same. People will have differing ideas no matter what the end goal is. How are we to jump off that ledge and hope for happiness?

A subject that needs to be discussed with one of more wisdom.


Friday, December 2, 2011

It's All Good

What if you're already doing everything right, even though you're not sure?
And the surprises along the way have only sped you up, even though it feels like they slowed you down?
And all you want is now barreling towards you even though you can't see it?
And when it arrives, it will exceed your expectation, even though your dreams were huge?
A little email I got this morning spoke this to my tired eyeballs. It triggered a pretty massive switch in my head. For from then on, I had quite the eventful day. Went for breakfast with Lady Love at an amazing place in town, now have some fantastic leftovers, and talked the morning away of good times that are past, fun times of the future and just how small we really are. Almost as if our lives collided again and we were just overflowing with mind clutter that needed releasing. It's good to have friends who really accept you and yet are capable of keeping you accountable and calling you out on your bullshit and imbalance. We even busted out in a couple yoga flows! I guess it's almost expected when instructors get together. Typical.
It's nice to have days like these where you realize how small life is and how lovely it can be when you let it. When you see how little our problems are and trust that everything is nothing, it all gets a little easier to handle. Sure, it could be considered "unrealistic" but this is an often very depressing world we live in. So much can change from the littlest of things. All you need is a quick switch of thought and Bob's your Uncle, you're happy! Or at least a bit better.

The only thing that is stopping you, is you.


Thursday, December 1, 2011

What Do You Got?

In need of some good toons? Lucky for you, this post is riddled with warm cabin beats. Ready to thaw your winter heart and fill your chest with sugar and spice. You've already got "everything nice".

At a little wooden cabin
Up in northern Minnesota
We ran together down to the dock
And you jumped right off it
And from out in the water
You called me to join you
And I said, "Baby, I cannot swim If I jump, I'll surely drown you"
You said, "Life has no limit If you're not afraid to get in it"
And oh, baby, I jumped to you
Since then there's nothing I can't do

I'm never gonna give you up
What do you got if you ain't got love?
If you ain't got love
What do you got if you ain't got love?

Someday, someday soon
You and I will both be gone
And lately, I can't help but think
That the love we feel will live on

I find this in myself and see it constantly in people in general. We tend to retreat from "the light", if you will. One of my goals in life is to understand why. Why does holding back, being withdrawn and sad seem so tempting? Why do we continue to choose to wallow in our sorrow rather than choose to let go of what is wrong in our lives?

I find it slightly entertaining when people fully admit how unaware of self they are and have no interest in knowing anything under the surface thoughts of their mind. What is luring about self destruction? Why not explore and change? Why not "play God" and manipulate the inner workings of the thought process? The walls we put up to ourselves and the people around us are actually quite easy to demolish and yet we choose to reinforce them over and over.

I'm not perfect. There are multitudes of walls that I've stableized in my life. It's hard to catch when you've built one at the best of times. But I figure if I change one thought at a time, it will eventually bring me to a place where I realize I've taken leaps in a great direction. If you keep putting one penny in the jar from time to time, eventually you'll have a heavy jar full of riches.

It's the little choices that count. The smaller moments of enjoying the lack of categorizing and predicting what's next. It's the times when you look out a window and enjoy the view. The times of standing back and looking at a completed job well done and admiring your handy work. It's the moment's of "what was I doing again?" and that space between asking that question and finding the answer. It's the moment of pent up frustration starting to boil over and strangely enough, there's a feeling of needing to be comforted and you take on the responsibility yourself and take a massive breath, letting out all the angst and dirt. It's that moment of carrying onwards. Smiling, no matter what.

Someday, someday soon
You and I will both be gone
And lately, I can't help but think
That the love we feel will live on